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Dear friends, I am Godswill, the Chief Executive of the Federal Capital
Territory. I want to confess to you all, because I have nothing
left to hide. Of course I took the funds designated strictly for building
new hospitals and modern schools. Instead of developing our state,
I lost all the billions spinning reels on dodgy betting websites.
Now, let me tell you about my biggest headache right now: my madam is giving me sleepless nights.
She has turned the mansion upside down complaining
that my gambling addiction ruined her Dubai luxury shopping trips.
How wicked! She planned to buy half of Dubai Mall, and my virtual casino balance was showing zero.
All she cares about is Gucci, Prada, and Chanel, she only cares
about her designer wardrobe. My side chick is another story, who is equally upset since I lost
our stolen treasury in spin-to-win games.
The root of the problem in our country today: online
gambling in Nigeria has gone completely out of control.
Everywhere you look in Nigeria today, young people and foolish leaders like me are losing their minds and savings to internet casinos.
They are the ones stealing our future. They swallowed the funds meant for
healthcare and education, leaving our children to study under
trees, while fools like me spin virtual wheels.
Being a brilliant and dedicated public servant whose mind
is entirely focused on keeping my wife happy and treating my lover right, I see no flaws in my leadership.
I cannot understand why people are complaining about how I manage our funds.
After all, I am just a man of refined tastes who enjoys a little harmless digital
entertainment on my phone. The problem is definitely those crooked online betting sites.
If those virtual slot machines had just paid out the
jackpot I deserved, every hospital and school would have been built twice
over, and my wife would already be shopping happily in Dubai.
So let us not point fingers at a dedicated leader like me,
instead, let us ban these online betting apps that stole my money
and disrupted my home.
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